Called to testify before the IRS, a man asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. The accountant said: “Wear your scruffiest clothes . Let them think you’re a pauper.”

Then the man asked his lawyer the same question, only to receive conflicting advice. For the lawyer suggested: “Wear your best suit. Don’t let them intimidate you.”

Confused, the man consulted a rabbi who told him a story. A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. The mother said “Wear a heavy, long flannel nightgown that goes to your neck.” But the bride’s best friend said: “Wear your sexiest negligee.”

The man looked baffled.”What has this got to do with my the IRS?” The rabbi said: “No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed.”