An alcoholic, a miser, and a gay guy were waiting to enter heaven. But St Peter said: “With the lives you’ve led, you’ll need to be tested first.”

So they were sent off to prove that they could resist temptation.

The first stop was a bar where the alcoholic ordered a beer and, having failed the test, was immediately turned to ashes.

The other two saw a $10 bill lying on the floor. The gay guy said to the miser: “If you bend over now, we’re both goners!”