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Name Them

One day, a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into an iceberg? They made a movie about it.”

The teacher answered quickly, “That would be the Titanic.”

St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and decided to make the question a little harder, “How many people died on the ship?”

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, “About 1,500.”

“That’s right! You may enter.”

St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. “Name them.”

Filed Under: Jokes in the Heaven, Lawyer Jokes

Two Lawyers in Island

Two lawyers had been stranded on a deserted island for several months. The only other thing on the island was a tall coconut tree, which provided their food.

And each day, one of the lawyers climbed to the top of the tree to see if he could see a rescue boat coming.

One day, the lawyer yelled down from the tree, “Wow. I can’t believe my eyes. There is a girl out there floating in our direction.”

The lawyer on the ground was most sceptical and said, “I think you’re hallucinating and you should come down right now.”

So, the lawyer reluctantly climbed down the tree and told his friend that he had just actually seen a naked blonde woman floating face up… headed toward their island.

The other lawyer started to laugh, thinking his friend had surely lost his mind. But within a few minutes, up to their beach floated a naked blonde woman, face up, and totally unconscious.

The two lawyers went over to her and discovered, yes she was alive.

One said to the other, “You know, we’ve been on this island for months now without a woman. It’s been a long time. Do you think we should, you know , screw her?”

The other lawyer glanced down at the totally naked woman and asked, “Out of what?”

Filed Under: Jokes in Deserted Island, Lawyer Jokes

I Thought He Was Talking to You

The lawyer was cross-examining a witness.

“Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you were given $500 to throw this case?”

The witness did not answer. Instead, he just stared out the window as though he hadn’t heard the question.

The attorney repeated himself, again getting the same reaction—no response.

Finally, the judge spoke to the witness, “Please answer the question.”

“Oh,” said the startled witness, “I thought he was talking to you.”

Filed Under: Jokes in Courtroom, Lawyer Jokes

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