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Prepared For Your Arrival Tomorrow

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter.

Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules.

It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day.

Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel.

There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis.

However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error.

In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral.

He was a minister of many years who had been “called home to glory” following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.

Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor.

The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

From: Your Departed Husband

Subject: I’ve Arrived!

I’ve just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

Filed Under: Jokes in Hotel

There Is No Way To Please A Woman

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only”. Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works… “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.”

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men on this floor are short and plain.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short and handsome.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here are tall and plain.”

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are tall and handsome.”

The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman!

Filed Under: Jokes in Hotel

Bugged Room

A pair of honeymooners checked into the Watergate Hotel in Washington, D.C. That night, as the husband was about to turn off the light, his bride asked, “Do you think this room is bugged?”

“That was a long time ago, sweetheart,” he reassured her.

“But what if there’s a microphone somewhere? I’d be so embarrassed.”

So the groom searched under tables and behind pictures. Then he turned back the rug. Sure enough, there was a funny-looking gizmo in the floor. He took out the screws, got rid of the hardware, and climbed into bed.

The next morning the newlyweds were awakened by a hotel clerk who wanted to know if they had slept well.

“We did,” replied the groom. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s rather unusual,” the clerk answered. “Last night the couple in the room below yours had a chandelier fall on them.”

Filed Under: Honeymoon Jokes, Jokes in Hotel

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